How to make 'the best damn popcorn in the world'

(The title is curteousy of a friend who said it, and said it right! --thanks HB)

Dad would want everyone to know how to make a good bowl of corn, so I'll use all the detail Dad would. Try it, you'll never want to go back to microwave (although, like Dad, you will, cause sometimes it's just easier). I've been working on getting it right almost weekly since before Dad passed away. Unfortunately he wasn't able to give me any last words about it, but I think he'll be pleased with all that follows...

Choosing the corn--you have to start here. You want to find the biggest kernels you can, compare all the bags and get the biggest. Orville does a nice one, but sometimes the store brands have bigger kernels. I found a 12lb bag at Macey's (in Utah) that has really nice ones and they pop up nice and big!

The Popper--now, not all hot-air poppers are created equal. Dad would tell you a brand to get, but I'll just tell you it needs to spin the corn. Some of them blow hot air from the bottom and just bounce the corn, but the kind you need blows the air from the bottom sides and spins it in a circle. Popcorn poppers used to be impossible to find, Dad had a stock in storage he had foraged around for--mostly used ones, I think. I have found they are coming back, so places like Walmart and Target carry them. Both the kinds at Target were the spin kinds, but just open it up and check before you buy it (and don't pay more than $20 for it, even that's too much!).

Loading the popper--the directions on the poppers usually say to use no more than 1/2 cup of corn, or something like that, but there is a precise measurement Dad figured out that makes it perfect every time, seriously! They pop up huge with the least amount of unpopped kernels. You pour kernels in the popper while it's running JUST until they stop spinning. Once you have the right amount they kind of bounce a little rather than spin--that's when you know it's right--it comes down to the difference of one kernel sometimes, really!!

Popping the corn--of course you want to use a large bowl to catch the popped corn, and in all the looking I've done for years, the best dang bowl is the big one Tupperware makes. It's expensive, so if you're like me, you'll just make do until you get a hand-me-down bowl (thanks Paula).
When more than half the popcorn is popped, you want to hold the bowl close under the spout to kinda back up the popcorn in the popper (not too much cause then it gets stuck and burns). Dad said doing this helps dry out the popcorn a little more, but the main thing it does is give the last few kernels a chance to pop before they get shot out of the popper, plus it keeps finicky kernels from popping in the bowl and shooting hot popcorn up your kid's shorts (it happened to my kid!).
This part is an art Dad perfected, so if you just don't get it, come on over and I'll show you how an amateur does it (or just have kernels fly all over the kitchen and you'll see the light).
If you're in Utah and can get one of the famous BYU ice cream buckets to hold the popcorn in-- that usually takes two batches to fill--I always make three so we can fill the bowl too, and because we eat it all.
(This is also the time the grandkids were sitting on the counter watching in awe and then stealing big handfuls of fresh, hot popcorn from the bowl--all the while Papa smiling and snuggling their little heads.)


The Butter--this also makes or breaks the popcorn. Dad changed his butter-melting philosophies over the years, so I'll just share the last one he shared with me.
You can use either salted butter or margarine (I prefer the butter cause it tastes so dang good, and if you're gunna eat, enjoy it!). Dad used both depending on the number of kids he was feeding at home. If you're doing three batches, like I do, well, I use a whole stick, and maybe a little extra--like I said, enjoy it! I can't tell you how much margarine to use, probably a little more than that.
The trick is to melt it on the stove. The purpose of doing it on the stove is to boil all the water out of it. Real butter has very little, margarine, well, we all know it's mostly water. So, butter takes less time on the stove (and therefore less quantity too).
You turn on the burner to medium heat and kinda melt it slow (I even start it on low while I'm popping the corn, then turn it up when I can babysit it--Dad would use that phrase). We all know oil starts bubbling and making noise, and when Dad could hear he'd base it's doneness on the sound, but when his hearing went out he learned to watch it. I watch it. While it's bubbling it can splatter, so Dad, and I, always swirl it in the pan over the heat so it doesn't pop and splatter out.
Once the water is almost out the bubbles change from crisp and clear, to more sugglish and foamy. Real butter burns quickly, so you don't want it to stay in that stage for more than a few seconds (although if you've barely burned it, it's still pretty good on some corn, believe me, I've tried it). Margarine, well, you'll have to experiment, I haven't done it for a while--but it'll burn quick too if you don't get it off soon enough.
A good way to keep it from burning is to keep it moving--even after it's off the heat while you're getting ready to put it on the corn.

Buttering--Dad always used a large spoon to dribble the butter over the popcorn. (There's a special way you dip the spoon in the pan, stir it back and forth a couple time, and then lift the spoon out full of butter, but unless you watched Dad, I don't know if you'll be able to get it right.) After a couple dribble passes over the corn, he'd stir the popcorn around very carefully and then dribble some more. If you're dribbling into the BYU bucket, there is an art to it. You have to dribble and then softly shake the popcorn in a way that it stirs itself and mixes the buttered popcorn into the unbuttered. I don't know how to explain it, you'd have to watch Dad do it (I even tried to have Josh help me, but he didn't quite get it). If you have two people it's easier cause one can shake while the other dribbles, but it works fine to do it single-handed too. (Here again, a demo might be the only way to get it right.)

Salt--Yes, you gotta have salt too. And I finally figured out that, like the butter, a little more than you think is better. Shake it on, shake the popcorn, shake on a little more, shake the popcorn, and maybe shake on a little more.

Butter buds--now this could be considered the 'secret ingredient'. Butter buds can be found in your local grocery store in the cooking/spice isle. There are 'Molly Butter Buds' and just plan 'Butter Buds', you can also find butter flavored sprinkle stuff near the popcorn in some stores. I don't have much experience with those, but I'm sure they're good too--along with the flavored sprinkle stuff, I know Dad had some of that too. This, again, you shake on, shake the popcorn, and then shake on a little more. Do it quickly after the butter is on so it sticks well. And if it's not quite enough, shake on a little more.

Enjoying it--you have to eat some immediately, it's never better. You also have to rub it against the sides of the bowl/bucket once it gets eaten down a little--this allows you to scrape up extra butter, salt and buds onto a small handful of corn, and it's yummy. Dad always did it--he never even looked in the bucket, just rubbed and ate, rubbed and ate. You also have to shake the bucket once in a while and turn it, so you can rub and eat in a new place with more fluffy corn on top.
You should definitely have someone sharing it with you, and if you're the man, you should be using your free hand to twirl the woman's hair--Dad always did that too.
Always make a lot so there is enough to go around, because even if someone says they don't like popcorn, or don't really want any, it's irresistable (plus you'll probably eat more than you thought too).
If you happen to have extra, always cover it tightly (that's why BYU buckets or Tupperware work well, they both have sealed lids). This keeps the corn more fresh and locks in flavor.

I'm sure there was even more to the art than I've written here, but if anyone has made it all the way through this, I'm sure they're glad it's over. If I could, I'd patent this and sell it...but then I wouldn't have shared it with everyone. I know there were many, many people who enjoyed Dad's popcorn, and if you didn't, now you can!

Thanks Dad, for making the best damn popcorn in the world, and telling me again and again how to do it.